Here we go again

Almost three years away from blogging seems like a pretty good break, don’t you think?

I’m not even going to pretend that I can recap my last three years and I’m not going to try. But my level of life reflection has been at an all time high lately and I need to write again. So, I will.

Our wedding is 9 days away and counting…and I feel like I’ve been counting all my life to this day. With this saint of a man. We’ve been prepping songs and seating charts and ceremony programs but there is something that is really hitting me at the moment: our vows. We haven chosen to memorize the standard Catholic vows for August 1st and, while I go over and over them in my head, I’m trying to see if I actually mean every. single. word. I’m in this forever, I need to make sure I’m holding up my end of the bargain.

And I’m having a hard time with the word “honor”. I love my fiance with every ounce of my being. I love him to the moon and back. I love him with all of my heart. I love him in every cliched way imaginable, and then, some but I’ve never thought about honoring him. Is that a default word that just goes with love or is it something more?

When I think of honor, I think of the Army or the commandment about being nice to my parents, but never really living out honor in any practical way. Maybe that’s a missing piece. Maybe honor is the forgotten vow that requires the effort of not only putting him before me always but respecting him, even when I disagree, or holding him in the highest esteem, even when he breaks me down. I’m going to work on my honoring, I think it needs a tune-up.

(Originally posted 7/22/2015)

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